Look-A-Like Series: Type 2 vs Type 9
Enneagram Look-A-Likes
What’s the difference between Type 2 and Type 9?
One thing I often teach is that lots of types can look and act the same way on the surface, but have very different underlying motivations underneath. This is why how you respond makes such a big difference in how it’s received by the other person.
Let’s look at a one of the most common mistypes: Type 2 vs Type 9
Similarities:
Want to please other people
Reference others and respond accordingly
Connection and relationships are important
Don’t notice their own needs
Easily distracted by other people’s priorities
Put other people’s needs first
Have difficulty setting boundaries and saying “no”
Want to avoid conflict
The differences between these two types are a bit nuanced.
Type 2s want to be liked compared to Type 9s who really just go along for the sake of keeping the peace and not “rocking the boat.”
For example, a Type 2 might volunteer to take on extra work or offer emotional support to stressed-out teammates, even if they’re already overwhelmed themselves. Their underlying motivation is to feel valued and appreciated, so they might go above and beyond, hoping others will recognize their generosity. A Type 9, on the other hand, might agree to ideas or plans they don’t fully support just to avoid conflict. Or they may avoid voicing their opinion to avoid disrupting harmony.
Type 2s actively seek people to help. It’s almost as if they feel compelled to it.
For example, a Type 2 may notice that their coworker seems overwhelmed with a big project. Without being asked, they bring their co-worker coffee, offers to proofread their report, and checks in regularly to see if they need support. Type 9s, on the other hand, help out of a reaction to maintain harmony. For example, a Type 9 is in a meeting where two colleagues start arguing over a decision. Sensing the tension, the Type 9 steps in and offers to take on some of the work themselves or find a compromise between both parties. Their goal isn’t necessarily to be helpful in the way a Type 2 is, but rather to smooth over conflict and ensure everyone remains calm and content.
When we ask Type 2s and 9s to describe themselves in relation to others, we often hear that 2s will often alter themselves in order to be liked and needed.
For example, a Type 2 at work might shift into a more upbeat, enthusiastic persona around their boss to seem like the most helpful and supportive team member. But around a struggling coworker, they might take on a more nurturing and emotionally available role to be the “go-to” person for emotional support. Their identity subtly shifts based on whom they’re trying to please. Type 9s, on the other hand, essentially absorb the preferences, opinions, or emotions of those around them to avoid conflict or tension. This can look like going along with decisions even if they don’t fully agree or adopting other people’s hobbies and interests without questioning if they actually enjoy them, simply because it feels easier than asserting their own opinion.
While Enneagram Type 2 and Type 9 can appear similar in their warmth and relationship-focused nature, their core motivations set them apart. Type 2s seek to be liked and needed, often going out of their way to help others in hopes of feeling valued and appreciated. In contrast, Type 9s strive for inner and outer peace, often going along with others to avoid conflict rather than asserting their own desires. While both types are generous and accommodating, Type 2s are driven by a need for connection, whereas Type 9s prioritize harmony and avoidance of tension.
Understanding the difference between Type 2 and Type 9 in others can improve relationships by clarifying why someone behaves the way they do. If a colleague, friend, or partner is constantly offering help and seeking appreciation, they may be a Type 2, motivated by a desire to feel needed. In contrast, if someone tends to go along with plans, avoids conflict, and rarely asserts their own preferences, they may be a Type 9, driven by a need for harmony.
Recognizing these distinctions allows for more effective communication—offering gratitude and reassurance to a Type 2 so they don’t feel taken for granted, while encouraging a Type 9 to voice their opinions and preferences so they don’t fade into the background. By understanding these differences, we can foster deeper connections and create environments where both types feel valued in ways that resonate with them.
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