5 Signs of Emotionally Intelligent People

Emotional intelligence is about being aware of feelings, both yours and those around you, understanding them, and managing their impact. Moreover, it’s about being in control of your emotions, responding (instead of reacting) carefully and thoughtfully to the situation at hand.

Here are 5 signs of emotionally intelligent people:

1. Maintains strong relationships

Emotionally intelligent people have high social skills which enable them to maintain a strong relationship with those around them. They are attuned to the emotional dynamics of others and are able to effectively communicate and resolve conflict.

For example: Emotionally intelligent people can notice frustration in others and approach them with empathy. When conflict arises, they take time to listen to differing thoughts, ideas, and concerns, making the others feel heard and valued.

2. Manages difficult situations calmly and effectively

Because emotionally intelligent people are able to control their emotions, they are able to manage difficult situations calmly and effectively. Their ability to adapt their response can help diffuse escalating situations.

For example: In a critical project with a tight deadline, emotionally intelligent people are able to remain calm in the face of a critical error. They understand that reacting emotionally won’t help the situation and can refrain from blaming others. By being emotionally aware, they can engage in problem-solving to mitigate the situation.

3. Has a growth mindset

Emotionally intelligent people understand that making mistakes is how the brain learns and grows. They focus on solutions and opportunities rather than dwell on problems which allows them to be resilient in the face of adversity.

For example: Rather than accepting mistakes and ruminating on them, emotional intelligent people can change the narrative of their negative self talk from “I can’t do this” to “I can’t do this YET.” They see setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow rather than get discouraged by them.

4. Can recognize emotions as they experience them

Emotionally intelligent people have a high degree of self-awareness. They are aware of their emotional patterns and tendencies and are able to self-regulate their emotions in order to make informed decisions.

For example: Emotionally intelligent people are attuned to physical sensations in their body. They understand that these sensations are early indicators of an emotional response and can identify and label the emotion they are feeling. Rather than trying to suppress or deny their emotion, they accept it as natural and valid.

5. Are active listeners

Emotionally intelligent people are skilled at listening to others, asking questions, and providing feedback. Being an active listener generates sensitivity around differing opinions, perspectives, and backgrounds.

For example: Emotionally intelligent people show they are engaged in conversation through verbal and non-verbal cues. They avoid interrupting and acknowledge they are following along. After listening, they are able to reflect and rephrase to ensure their understanding and ask open-ended questions to clarify. Because they are emotionally aware, they can express empathy when others feel frustration or stress and avoid judgment.

If you feel like you’re lacking in any of these areas above, there’s good news! Emotional intelligence can be learned. Instead of piecing together various concepts and strategies to develop emotional intelligence, the Enneagram offers an all-in-one structured and comprehensive approach to understanding and working with emotions. Read more about “Emotional Intelligence and the Enneagram” here.